just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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