My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
