God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
