How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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