Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
