I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I need water and some morals
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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