No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
