Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
