I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
