stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
