I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
