If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
