you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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