They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
