benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
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