I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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