PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
