yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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