I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
