Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
