If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
