my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
