my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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