I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
