i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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