Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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