U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
are you so shy because you have an std?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
