Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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