it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
