people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
My bed smells like the plague
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
