Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
