She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
