If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
