Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
