I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
