Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
