Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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