Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
