Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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