So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
