I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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