Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
