do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
