so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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