I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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