I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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