Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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