The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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