there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
