Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
